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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, June 10, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
"What does the Bible say about dating / courting?"
By Tinashe Maruta
Although the words “courtship” and “dating” are not found in the Bible, we are given some... principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want, the important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desire toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). The ultimate goal of dating or courting is finding a life partner. The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we should not marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards.
Although the words “courtship” and “dating” are not found in the Bible, we are given some... principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). While the world’s view may be to date around as much as we want, the important thing is to discover the character of a person before making any commitment to him or her. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8) and if he or she shares the same desire toward Christ-likeness (Philippians 2:5). The ultimate goal of dating or courting is finding a life partner. The Bible tells us that, as Christians, we should not marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this would weaken our relationship with Christ and compromise our morals and standards.
When one is in a committed relationship, whether dating or courting, it is important to remember to love the Lord above all else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that another person is “everything” or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20; Colossians 3:5). Also, we are not to defile our bodies by having premarital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13; 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as we love ourselves (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or dating relationship. Whether dating or courting, following these biblical principles is the best way to have a secure foundation for a marriage. It is one of the most important decisions we will ever make, because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh in a relationship which God intended to be permanent and unbreakable (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5).
Friday, March 15, 2013
AVOID THE TYPICAL PITFALLS OF MARRIAGE
Written by Ann Douglas
No couple embarks on married life expecting to end up in
divorce court, but that’s what happens to more than one million American
couples each year. And when they do the postmortem, they often find their marriage was sabotaged by
one of these 10 traps:
1. Taking your partner for granted. That’s like
having a garden that you’re not weeding or fertilizing, says Robert Billingham,
professor of human development and family studies at Indiana University. “You
can’t expect it to continue to thrive.” Let your partner know you appreciate
him or her.
2. Forgetting that a good marriage takes work. “People think that having a happy marriage is a magical, mystical occurrence,” says marriage and family therapist Dr. Leslie Parrott, co-author of When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages (Zondervan/HarperCollins). “We’ve accepted the fact that parenting takes a lot of skill, but we don’t want to accept the idea that romantic love takes a great deal of work, too.”
3. Not talking through conflict. If you rely on heavy sighs, slammed doors and other non-verbal communication when something is bothering you, you could be playing with fire. As painful as it may be to get the conversation started, you must speak up. “Otherwise, problems start festering and begin to take on a life of their own,” explains Sharon Naylor, author of The Unofficial Guide to Divorce (Hungry Minds).
4. Failing to romance your partner. “We all want to be made to feel special,” says psychologist Kate Wachs, author of Relationships for Dummies (Hungry Minds) and Dr. Kate’s Love Secrets (Paper Chase Press). “That’s why it’s so important to set aside at least one night per week for you and your spouse. Use this regular ‘date night’ to share your hopes and dreams.”
5. Fighting dirty. The better you know somebody, the easier it is to hurt that person. “No matter how angry you may be about something,” Naylor says, “you need to resist the temptation to figure out the one thing that will hurt your partner the most and then use that against him.”
6. Fighting over money. A recent study by the Million Dollar Round Table, an international association of life insurance and financial services professionals, found that 43% of married couples argue about money. If money’s becoming a major source of conflict, you might consider sitting down with a financial planner or some other 3rd party that can help come up with a financial game plan you both can live with.
7. Letting the passion fizzle. “Have sex often — anytime either of you is in the mood,” Wachs says. “If you wait until both partners are in the mood, you won’t end up having much sex at all and, over time, you’ll end up drifting apart.”
8. Shutting down sexually when you’re angry rather than dealing with issues. Although withholding affection may seem like the ideal way to punish your partner, you risk seriously damaging your relationship, Wachs says.
9. Failing to understand that marriages have ups and downs. “It’s OK to expect incredible moments in your marriage,” Parrott says. “Just don’t expect them to happen every day.”
10. Throwing in the towel too easily. “We’re so accustomed to the concept of obsolescence that we treat our partners as disposable,” says Herb Glieberman, a Chicago divorce attorney and author. Vow to rekindle the flames rather than looking for the closest escape hatch.
Source (Click to follow link): Talking About Christian Walk,Relationships, Love and Romance with Sigoluhle Mandizha
2. Forgetting that a good marriage takes work. “People think that having a happy marriage is a magical, mystical occurrence,” says marriage and family therapist Dr. Leslie Parrott, co-author of When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages (Zondervan/HarperCollins). “We’ve accepted the fact that parenting takes a lot of skill, but we don’t want to accept the idea that romantic love takes a great deal of work, too.”
3. Not talking through conflict. If you rely on heavy sighs, slammed doors and other non-verbal communication when something is bothering you, you could be playing with fire. As painful as it may be to get the conversation started, you must speak up. “Otherwise, problems start festering and begin to take on a life of their own,” explains Sharon Naylor, author of The Unofficial Guide to Divorce (Hungry Minds).
4. Failing to romance your partner. “We all want to be made to feel special,” says psychologist Kate Wachs, author of Relationships for Dummies (Hungry Minds) and Dr. Kate’s Love Secrets (Paper Chase Press). “That’s why it’s so important to set aside at least one night per week for you and your spouse. Use this regular ‘date night’ to share your hopes and dreams.”
5. Fighting dirty. The better you know somebody, the easier it is to hurt that person. “No matter how angry you may be about something,” Naylor says, “you need to resist the temptation to figure out the one thing that will hurt your partner the most and then use that against him.”
6. Fighting over money. A recent study by the Million Dollar Round Table, an international association of life insurance and financial services professionals, found that 43% of married couples argue about money. If money’s becoming a major source of conflict, you might consider sitting down with a financial planner or some other 3rd party that can help come up with a financial game plan you both can live with.
7. Letting the passion fizzle. “Have sex often — anytime either of you is in the mood,” Wachs says. “If you wait until both partners are in the mood, you won’t end up having much sex at all and, over time, you’ll end up drifting apart.”
8. Shutting down sexually when you’re angry rather than dealing with issues. Although withholding affection may seem like the ideal way to punish your partner, you risk seriously damaging your relationship, Wachs says.
9. Failing to understand that marriages have ups and downs. “It’s OK to expect incredible moments in your marriage,” Parrott says. “Just don’t expect them to happen every day.”
10. Throwing in the towel too easily. “We’re so accustomed to the concept of obsolescence that we treat our partners as disposable,” says Herb Glieberman, a Chicago divorce attorney and author. Vow to rekindle the flames rather than looking for the closest escape hatch.
Source (Click to follow link): Talking About Christian Walk,Relationships, Love and Romance with Sigoluhle Mandizha
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